DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
9 comments:
Hey...
Thanks for your comment. You have done some research, ...hmmm...Do you really meen that , when woman talk it is "in the other way language". And ofcourse no one is perfect, so severel drawers for every day in the week where we can put in a male in each one, for all the emotions we have most be perfect. Then we can have both brain, muscles, and sensitivet...*LOL*...
Grasshop(p)er ...
WE NEED TO TALK !
;-)
Actually this post was done by my daughter so I can’t say that I did any research. But I thought it was funny.
I like the idea with drawers it would, kind of, ease up the tension at home.
But you would write the mail names on each of them I hope? Ha, ha.
G/H :-)
A/L
I am in a deep shit now, huh?
:-))
That last joke is hilarious, Grasshopper. I did laugh out loud. Can't wait to tell my wife.
Thanks for the big chuckle.
lol :-D
Yes, You are!!!!
Do you have any suspensory near you...*LOL*... ;-)))
I'm waiting Mr. Grasshopper for your contribution.
mca
Tnx ... just needed a laugh 2day :-)
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